Parental Expectations

When the parent-birds gently coax their baby-birds out of the nest, they hope they will begin flying before they hit the ground, but I'm sure that some part of them expects to have to swoop in through the trees and rescue them. So, when my youngest daughter, Caryn moved out a few months ago, it was with great relief to my wife and I to see her wings stretch out, catch the wind and lift her into the sky. We did not however expect to see 2 little jets pop out of her shoes or the pilot's goggles that she lowered over her eyes as she came to hover like a harrier jet before us, salute & blast off to face the world. She has been kind enough to stay close to our little tree and we see a Caryn-shaped blur swoop past our field of vision every once in so often and smile.

Caryn has taught us many things over the last 21 years. Apparently important lessons like: Food coloring turns black when more than 3 colors are mixed together and is difficult to remove from floors and walls even when NOT in the shape of tiny hands & feet. One can make music with one's belly-button. That between herbivores and carnivores betrayal is as sudden as it is inevitable. That a child doesn't have to be 1/8th alien to do amazing things. And no matter how motivated they may be, hamsters cannot fly. As a parent I have been constantly amazed by the things my children have thought I needed to know, and Caryn has been teaching me these things since she began finishing my sentences for me at the age of 6.

And there were other lessons, too. A young girl's fascination with swords can turn out to be prophetic of future Spiritual Warfare. That the character attributes of compassion and strength can develop in response to Life's hardship and handicap. That no matter how many mistakes a parent can make... kids can still grow up to be mighty warriors.

We are proud of Caryn. Proud of all our children. They are all growing into their gifts, learning, exploring and taking ground for the Kingdom in their own unique ways. That's also something, as a parent I hadn't "expected"... that may not be the right word... You see, in the middle of raising my children, it was as much as I could hope for that they would just survive. That they'd get through grade school, middle school, puberty, junior high and high school without getting into a fatal accident, hooked on drugs or prematurely making my wife a grandmother. I became focused on just getting them through the next grade, the next phase intact & relatively healthy. Then one day, I turned around... and they were all gone. They weren't hard to find, they all stayed close. We see them quite a bit, marvel at what happens in their lives. Sometimes my wife & I smile and wink at each other 'cause we know what comes next; sometimes we cry for the same reason.

And now, Caryn-our baby-is an adult. Out in the world, standing on her own, sword in hand scanning the horizon for "new targets." Like The Lord of the Rings' Eowyn, standing between the forces of darkness and the people she loves... and watching the darkness tremble.