What do I want to be when I grow up?

It seemed to sneak up on me.  Quietly, stealthily, without my realizing it had been stalking me through the years just biding it's time.  The question "What do I want to be when I grow up?" has been just waiting for the moment when it gets to jump out of the bushes, wave it's arms in the air and yell in my face, "HA!  You ARE up!  So, what are you going to be?!"  And now, nearer to the end of my professional life than the beginning, I must, once again grapple with it.  Like Jacob, grappling with the Angel in Genesis, and not willing to let go until he is blessed with a new name... or in my case, a new career.

What has prompted this life-changing consideration?  My back hurts.  You're probably saying "So what?  So does mine."  Many, perhaps most people as they advance in age suffer from acute (lasting for less than 3 months) back pain from muscles strained or from spasm-twisted vertebrae.  But it's not just my back, portions of my legs and feet are also numb and/or tingling and my condition is chronic having lasted more than 3 months (like 15 years or so more).  I believe the medical term is Cauda Equina Syndrome caused by intervertebral disc herniation between L4 and L5.  Simply put, the discs between the vertebrae in one's back are like jelly donuts with the spinal column running through the hole in the center.  As they age, the donut part of the disc weakens and sometimes allows the jelly to form a bulge.  When this bulge occurs on the inside of the hole and impacts the spinal column, pain results and if left too long untreated, permanent nerve damage.

So, I cannot sit, stand, or lie down for extended periods but must shift my position many times throughout a normal day.  Daily chores and other activities most people do without thinking, I can only do occassionally with periods of rest between.  Bending, crouching, kneeling, etc. is difficult as well.  Much of the work I have done in the past, Computer Support, Web Page Design, and Acting requires physical abilities I find at best difficult, at worst, debilitating.  Perhaps there is another profession I can attempt, even at my age.  This is my current quest: to find such a new career.

Of course it is in the "professional" realm that I am speaking.  Many other questions in other areas of my life have been settled and I have, in due course, reaped the fruits (or consequences) of those choices.  Questions such as:

• "Whom shall I marry?"
• "How should I raise my kids?"
• "Should I wear Hawaiian shirts in Winter?"

Such questions guide us through the process that makes us the people we become.  They form & shape our lives and personalities.  Now I look forward to an opportunity to answer one of the most important of those life-questions... all over again.

If you have gone through a similar life-changing period of your life, perhaps you'd like to share what you went through, and possibly what helped you cope with the enormity of the task.